A Very Mary Christmas

I was asked to speak for a few minutes in this past Tuesday's A Very Mary Christmas chapel. Here are my thoughts from that day:

Advent- the season of expectant waiting, preparation and celebration of the coming of the Christ. My perspective on Advent this year is a little bit different that it has been in the past. My husband and I have been in a season of expectant waiting, preparation and celebration of the coming of our first son for 9 months now. In a few days, our lives will change forever. This Advent season, I can’t help but think about what Mary must have been feeling when she was days away from giving birth to Jesus. I’ll bet that if Mary and I were to sit down over coffee, we would connect on a few levels.

Now, I am in a very different situation than Mary was. Conceiving this child was a conscious decision for my husband and me, while Mary was miraculously impregnated by the Holy Spirit. I am not currently permitted by my doctor to travel outside of the area, while at this point of mary’s pregnancy she went on a road trip… on the back of a donkey! I can barely sit through an hour long meeting! That does NOT sound comfortable! Being on the verge of delivering this child and becoming a mother, I feel an incredible amount of responsibility. I cannot imagine the burden of responsibility if I knew that the child I was carrying would change the course of history.

Like me, Mary was in a place of waiting, longing, hoping- but I imagine these weren’t her initial feelings about her pregnancy. When the angel appeared to her, his words were “you have found favor in the eyes of the Lord.” Now if I were having this conversation with an Angel, I would think “Sweet! What’s next? Do I get an award or something?” But, what followed was news that most certainly would have brought anxiety and fear upon a teenage virgin, engaged to be married who was now pregnant with the child of NOT her fiancé! Her life was suddenly submersed in the unknown.

The unknown—now there’s something I have become very familiar with. Our venture into the world of parenthood began with our first pregnancy coming to a premature end. When we conceived again, we began the week by week journey of wondering if the same thing would happen again. Now, days away from my son’s due date I find myself thinking about all of the unknowns about his life from here on out- the bones he’s bound to break, the awful nicknames he’ll have to endure in middle school, the stupid girls who are going to break his heart and much likely far worse! Mary reminds me that I need to put my child in the hands of the God who created him and loves him far more than I ever could. If only I had the bold faith of Mary. Upon hearing this news that would uproot even the deepest planted heart, Mary’s response was “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be done to me according to Your word.” If only I had the bold faith of Mary.

This time of expectant waiting has been really important in our home. It began with a significant amount of fear. As our son continued to grow and it began to feel more real, we began making more practical preparations, such as his room, the car seat- all the important things- even a digital baby monitor that will allow us to carefully listen to each breath. And more recently, I find myself saying things like “we need to clean up the kitchen so the boy doesn’t think we’re messy.” Or “we need to stop swearing, so the boy doesn’t think we’re potty mouths.” I wonder if I’ll be good enough. Will I know what to do? But then I remember that even in a stable, surrounded by dirty animals, Mary’s instinct took over as she swaddled baby Jesus. After all, they still swear by swaddling today. And all along, I have been preparing my heart to welcome this child who already brings me so much joy-- who can easily move me to laughter or tears, already. What if we prepared for the coming of the Christ in the same way that we prepare to welcome a new baby into our home, meticulously looking at what we need to add, get rid of, change? We desperately savor every moment in the journey because we don’t want to miss a second of this miracle. This long awaited coming.

“We await your coming- Lord- with eagerness and thanksgiving and a fair amount of fear.” We await your coming - son- with eagerness and thanksgiving and a fair amount of fear. I imagine this is what Mary and I have in common the most. And in these last few days of waiting, as I sit in this place right in the middle of excited and terrified, I know that this baby is about to change everything in ways that are still unknown. In the same way, we know that when Christ comes near, He changes everything.