In 30 days I will be turning 30. I’m actually really excited about turning 30 and I’ve decided to enter into this transition intentionally. For the next 30 days I will be writing a blog a day about an event, person, experience that has had a significant impact on the woman that I am today and who I am becoming.
On my 18th birthday, Katti gave me my first journal. I wrote one entry in it and then discovered it again a year later. It was then that my love for journaling began. Over the past 10 years, I have filled 8 journals and I am half-way through my 9th.
Through the process of writing these blog posts, I’ve pulled my journals off the shelf and thumbed through a few of them. Sometimes I like what I read… sometimes I don’t. Why? Well, these journals have an ability like nothing else (except for maybe a song or a smell) to send me back in time to a place where I was maybe confident… or sad… broken… or strong… independent… or weak. As I read those words, I remember what it felt like to be me… THAT DAY. I can look back and see how I’ve changed. How my questions were answered. How ridiculous I was.
I can read about my first (and only) time eating sushi (sorry, I’m not refined enough for sushi). I can read about strange dreams that I happened to write down. I can read about the song that was stuck in my head when I woke up on a given morning. I can read prayers that were sent out in times of joy, despair, fear, blessing and anger.
Sometimes I’m embarrassed by what I’ve written in these books. I fear who might read them in the future and what they might think of me. But I’ve said over and over, that if my house were on fire, the one thing that I would grab (besides our little safe- I put that in there for you, hon) is my journals- so I guess I’m not all that eager to destroy the evidence.
In community group tonight, Dallas challenged us to journal for 7 days straight. What a perfect discipline to practice, because for the past year or so I have rarely made time for journaling. And the thought of returning feels like I am returning to an old friend. A friend who saw me through many a rainy Seattle day, next to a cup of coffee. I couldn’t be more thrilled to get reacquainted with that old friend. I couldn’t be more thrilled to get reacquainted with… myself.
2 comments:
I LOVE YOU!!!! oh and ochabl...that's my word verification, thought it sounded funny, and thought I'd share. I think I need to go to bed!
Aw..... I love you too Kate Reneigh. That's cute. And yeah- you were getting giddy... bedtime. mersha
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